WINE LABELS
For committed obsessive-compulsives, the wine aisle of the average supermarket presents a veritable heaven or hell, depending on whether one must make a decision quickly. Some of us spend hours reading the labels, attempting to discern if the bottle in our hand will result in applause from our guests or a call to 911 summoning an ambulance or the police. It's hard to know in advance. And for us obsessives, uncertainty is something to be abhorred. So we prowl the aisle searching for just the right concoction. But that's the way life is, isn't it? It's messy!
And what names! What a lexicon of adjectives to describe the experience upon the tongue of these fermented grapes! What wonderfully high-falutin' language about the wine-making process, the soil, the fog, the altitude, the terroir, the history of the vintners family!
Perhaps the finest label we ever encountered was on a bottle of Bulgarian wine that described its contents as possessing "nervous charm and elegance." (We are not making this up!) Something clearly went wrong in both the translation and fermentation processes, since it was one of those vintages that improves only after many glasses of better fare have first been consumed.
In this box, we present some wine labels we've made and slapped over the labels of wine and given to our friends. Try it yourself! A wine label of about 4" high by 9.25 to 10" wide should do the trick on many bottles. (Whatever it takes to hide the label of the cheap wine you're giving!) Glue stick will affix it to the bottle. Google yourself silly finding images; create your own title; make up your own descriptive text.
It'll keep you out of traffic.
